todays subject:
Chester's corn twists
They stalk the chip asile in grocery stores. They make you thirsty.
They lack taste and they lack mercy. You know what I'm talking about. I speak of the evil , the sickening CHESTER'S CORN TWISTS!!!
Which are known from hereon as "the yellow things" because they are yellow. One of the many questions I have is
why is a tiger with sunglasses representing these yellow things? Well I think these so called "corn twists" don't even have
any corn involved in their creation {gasps}!! In fact if you eat the yellow things they always spread yellow powderand are
barely solid. This is because the people that make the corn twists have found a new drug called "chemicalpoutin#4". It is
a wonderous new substance that is instantly addicting because it is like the enviromentally safe and sneakier version of cigarettes!
Why? Well we all know that when you start smoking cigarettes you get that buzz but it soon fades. You keep smoking , trying
to recapture it but it never returns. This is almost the case with the universally dreaded yellow things. You eat
them and they have no taste , period! Like cigarettes you keep eating them TRYING to get a taste but they completely
lack taste. Plus they make you thirsty so you have to drink something and maybe you'll drink some product that is theirs.
It is a genuis scam but they didn't know that J.J. Cook was on the job to expose them for what they have done to millions
of people. Yes among these atrocities they also cause tooth decay!!! If this doesn't make everyone sotp and go "OMG!!"
than I don't know what can. So are you people with me? Hello? Jerks. Fine than I will single handedly stop these unspeakable
terrors while the rest of you sit around going "OMG!! wat wil we do 2 stoop them?" and stuff your faces so you can when the
prize of the fatest kid in your neighborhood.
The question on everyones minds is "How?". Good question.
I plan on doing the ONLY thing that can solve anything in todays world. I plan on making a petition on petitiononline.com
and than I'm going to go on msn and say "stop badness by peeps and send this 2 20 peeps in da nxt 20 min or u wil neva gt
laid!". Then I'll stand infront of the company and protest because that also solves everything. Then I'll threaten legal action
for...something because they're probably an American company , and lawsuits are like breathing in America. Then to secure
my victory I'll go anorexic and slip into a coma. Than everyone will pity me and do the protest and petitions and lawsuits
for me and annoy the government until they nuke Frito-Lay. GOD BLESS PITY AND STUPIDITY!
